Hi! My name is Vailen and while I'm not new to blogging, I'm pretty new to using this avenue for it. I've previously had livejournals, tumblrs, bloggers (blogspot?), and some other sites I'm sure, and usually wound up taking a step back to settle into reality completely rather than being caught up in my head. … Continue reading
A short thought for today. Lately I've found that the little things I used to find fun are really just distractions. I don't mean distractions in the positive sense, like the breaks we need to keep sane. Mainly here, I'm talking about social media. A while ago I disabled my Facebook because of whatever feelings … Continue reading Small Distractions
Recently I've been coming to terms with the fact that I, without a doubt, have a lot of trauma to identify and work through in order to form healthy and long-lasting relationships. To an extent, this isn't anything new; I've known I have issues for a very, very long time, but looking at it in … Continue reading Dissecting Trauma
Today is a day to talk about what's kept my brain occupied for the most part: writing Asmodaios as much as I can manage. I have no one to talk to about this stuff regularly, and definitely not in detail, so y'all can suffer through it. While writing Asmodaios, I made it a habit to … Continue reading Writing During Isolation
I don't understand how people can't spend any amount of time with themselves and have to constantly be in some sort of social situation.
Despite feelings of alienation wherever I go, I'm slowly coming to terms with the fact that home, for me, is not home and really never has been. It's a place of sadness and fear and hate and all kinds of negativity that unfortunately absorb. And with being home more often now, it's very likely part … Continue reading Home Isn’t Home
Overthinking is, often literally, my worst enemy. Who is better to be one's worst enemy than oneself? When you're fighting yourself, it's harder to get support and harder to deal with. But that's neither here nor there. I'm not writing a fantasy novel here. Anyway, I'm often the victim of my own overthinking. In the … Continue reading Thinking, Thinking, and Overthinking
That safety I felt with my friends is mysteriously and suddenly gone.
Writing a novel in and of itself should be enough to make me proud...
Fear is the emotional response to real or perceived imminent threat...
For a normal person, is this selfishness?